Click on the title to see how lucky you are!
Click on the title to see how lucky you are!
Bear with me please. I am trying out this new theme. I like its colors and I think the theme’s name, Sunspot, is a match to my blog’s title.
But I will let you in on a little secret. I have been attempting to write for an hour and a half now. Can’t seem to decide what to write about. So I started writing about three different topics but still could not organize my thoughts for each one. I didn’t think I should force the issue, so I looked instead at the available free themes and played around. And this is the result. For now.
I should be back in a day or two. In the meantime, do you like this new look?
I just can’t resist writing about this as one of the Philippines’ famous celebrities is at it again. I won’t go into the details as it is already a shame that what she had done recently is once again front page news. But an interesting question from all the assumptions that can be had is : should you talk bad about your ex to your kid?
I’ll be honest and say that is very hard to resist especially when you caught the ex fooling around, or he has not done anything by way of supporting the child. In a single parent household, it is always so tempting to get the sympathy and undivided love of a child by picturing the single parent as the martyr in the situation, the one that was betrayed and left with the sole burden of taking care of the child in all aspects. Countless times, I have bitten my tongue, caught myself at the very moment when the desire to badmouth the ex was so strong. With God’s grace and a resolve not to open my mouth when I have nothing good to say, I think I am doing perfectly fine.
I asked my ex to leave our house, repeatedly hurt and knowing that I have reached the limit of my patience and forgiveness. Hours after I dropped the bomb, I realized how selfish I was, thinking only of myself, and not about the year and a half old baby who was going to be deprived of a father. But me and him, we were already a hopeless case. But I was not going to get in the way of our child and her father developing their own relationship.
And so, it was open-door policy for him. He could come any time, as long as he does not bring her out of the house unless accompanied by my mom. He had full visitation rights and that wasn’t by order of a court. Just the acceptance and tolerance of a mom who understands that no matter what has happened, they will always be father and daughter.
Whether he exercises his right to visit her anytime is entirely up to him. What he does to build that relationship and maintain it is entirely up to him. Sadly, he has not shown nor made her feel what it is to have a real, caring and loving father whose presence and support can be felt. And guess what? I don’t have to say anything, I don’t have to utter one single bad word about him. The child knows, the child feels, and she will make her own decisions as far as their relationship is concerned.
What I just hope to do is to teach her not to have feelings of resentment, and that each parent has a different way of showing his/her love. I recount to her the good times when she was still a baby and when her dad was an active co-parent. She might not really remember things but I can feel that she loves hearing these stories, it makes her feel that she was loved by her dad. And I love it when she hugs me real tight when I tell her that God has given me a bottomless well of love to give her, so I could make up for daddy’s part.
What I’m most excited about in the next few days is finally having the time to declutter and redecorate my home. I haven’t really had the time to do this major task except for my once-a-year spring cleaning which frankly isn’t enough considering I have so many areas to fix.
I have made some prep work last year and it was a great start. The main thing was not to bring in any more clutter into the house. And so I avoided shopping, I didn’t hang out at the malls. Unless it was something I absolutely needed, I didn’t buy it. This applied to household items, clothes, bags, shoes, accessories. Both for the kid and me. Even the word SALE lost its magic on me.
On the rare occasion that we needed to reward ourselves with small gifts, we followed a rule that I started imposing when my kid started collecting toys. If we bought one new item, we have to get rid of one item in our closet. One toy in, one toy out! Also, the kid has been taught to give away toys and clothes that she will no longer use to our favorite children’s charity at least once a year.
This worked for me too : instead of a major and time-consuming spring cleaning, I opted to have mini-decluttering sessions at least once a month. It varied from 2 hours to half a day to a whole day of removing stuff I haven’t used for a year. Once, I joined a yard sale and earned money for a month’s worth of groceries and gas. Some bigger items posted on Facebook were also quickly snapped up by friends.
A portable shredder also did wonders as I got rid of many years of accumulated bills and other documents not worth keeping.
I am looking forward to a scheduled two weeks of cleaning and clearing up the house and hopefully, be left with only what’s necessary for our daily existence plus the occasional entertaining. One room will be converted into an office, while another one will be made a guest room. I’m so excited it’s like I am being transported back to the time I first moved into this house.
But sorry folks, no before and after pics! You can however, share tips to help me do this decluttering project!
There are two major changes in my work this year.
First, we moved out of a place that was home to us for 27 years, my second home where I’ve spent 23 years of my working life.
Second, I am finally leaving and exploring lots of other possibilities I could do in my own time, pursuing dreams that have been put in the back burner for too long.
In both instances, I thought I would cry, but I didn’t.
I have long ago learned not to get too attached to material things. I have rewired my thought processes to always look at the bright side of things. I am grateful to a long and painful journey towards a mindset that makes my life easier. And by His grace, I am blessed to be where I am now.
In a few days, I will bask in the exhilarating sense of freedom and the excitement and anticipation of the new!
The thank you cards are being prepared but the writing is slow, the process halted by the wonderful memories of learning and friendships built over time.
What’s in store for me in 2013? I always try to search for positive and inspirational predictions about my astrological sign or chinese horoscope. There are a lot of different sites out there with the same or with conflicting predictions but I’d like to share with you one that I like. It wasn’t an easy 2012 for Archers so I wish that 2013 bring us better luck and opportunities.
From http://www.findyourfate.com :
This year 2013 shall bring in a new leash in your life. All the obstacles and hindrances you faced in the previous years shall vanish into thin air. You shall put into a better optimistic phase of your life. All restrictions and constraints in your life shall fly away. But you ought to bring about some sort of security for yourself and those around you. Towards the end of the year, some slowdown in your general life would be experienced.
Your professional area shall call for much energy and input this year. The previous years results shall make you to slog a bit. But do not pay heed. Keep moving and the ladder is a never ending one. The planetary positions shall help you to move in the forward direction without much effort this year. Matters related to administration and legal works shall be rewarding for you. There would be better rapport with your authorities and peers. The end of the year shall see much promotions and pay hikes in your professional life. If into business, it would be the right time to consolidate your positions.
Your love life this year would be much stable and shall withstand the heavy tides normally expected in a relationship. The planets make sure that your emotional and romantic needs are met in a more subtle way. Much intimacy is expected on your side this year. Cast away all masks you had been donning of late and remain your true self. This is an apt time when you get to know the real intentions of your partner or other half. Do not be too defensive on your side. Some basic changes are likely in your relationships during the second half of the year. If single this year shall bring some sweet nothings in your life worth remembering for years to come.
This year shall give you a big raise in your career prospects. There would be good profit in all your financial endeavors. The toils of your previous years shall bring forth fruit and there would be a big smile in your financial arena. Do not hesitate to venture into unknown financial territories. There is still a lot of area where you can put your money. But beware as to not to put all your eggs in one basket.
Your health concerns shall be minimized during the start of the year. There seems to be a lot of things to be done that you lose your energy on a mental note. But physically you would be in a better form than the previous year. Make sure you get ample sleep and exercise. This is because you ought to work under constant stress for most part of the year. In general your immunity would be in good shape this year. Beware of health issues related to the head and nose coming your way. Handle them with ease and relax.
I would like to share this video during this time of celebration.
Learning to Dance in the Rain by Mac Anderson and BJ Gallagher can change your attitude about facing adversity. It’s not the adversity, but how we react to it that determines the joy and happiness in our lives. Learning to Dance in the Rain shows us that while we all face challenges, embracing the power of gratitude can change your life forever. During tough times, do we spend too much time feeling sorry for ourselves, or can we, with gratitude…learn how to dance in the rain? (from http://www.simpletruths.com)